When you stand in a middle of a wedding...

...you realize what you want, that you need to follow your heart - because otherwise nothign will ever be true! You can't live the life that everyone else told you that you should, only you can chose your own path, and your own sucess and your own lifepartner. Thanks Rotation and Shevil for getting marries so I could have a life-revelation...

I just recently have understood how hard it was for me to come out, not to my friends and family, but to myself. I am that person, that just had a hard time to accept myself, I always knew I was different, I just didn't want to be different, and the harder I fought aginst it the more obvious it became to the rest of the world.. It was just right there and then when two dear friends that got married, that I understood, that why do I doubt things so much, why do I question myself, when I know how I feel really deep down, why do I date when I feel nothing? I can't be with someone just not to feel alone, because that just isn't me. I realized how I had to buckle up and follow my heart, even if it was beyond complicated. You gotta live and love!

I want to be swept off my feet, I want to be told that I am adorable and amazing, I want to be inspired to climb mountains, to write fairytales, to sleep under starry skies. I want to share my anxiety and my joy, and I want my heart to sing everytime I hear her voice. I want our eyes to burn and tickle each others skin.  That is what i want to feel, so I went for it, right or wrong, only time can tell.

This post says absolutley nothing and everything - but for me it's all so clear now. Go, and go in peace with yourself, you can lie for the rest of the world, but don't lie to yourself just because it's easier. I am proud of being me! You can't take the easy way out, becase it will be the harder way in the longrun.

Oh and by the way me, Loony, Kix and Kim are representing Stockholm Rollerderby in the last issue of QX. QX is a free gay magazine here in Sweden... it's sort of really cool! I think it's cool at least...

Looking good in the neighbourhood...

You Should Support this!

This is superduper cool! YOU really should support this, because derby is what it is because of all the outspoken humans that have built and created this community together.
 I love Vagine Regime - rollerderby has given me a voice and a place where I feel secure in being queer, where I loud and proud can look people in the eye and be who I am.

Bonding with the small members of the family...

It happens at times that people take me for a boy, and I must say, I might not dress the most feminie and I'm more athletic than curvy. Being six feet tall (about 180 cm) probably has something to do with it too.  But it happens very sledom and most of the time it's manifested in some strager saying ''excuse me sir''.

The other day I went over to my dad's and I was teaching my six year old sister how to rollerskate. All of a sudden she looks up at me and says:
"Are you a girl?"
A little taken aback by the question, I nod laugh a little and say.
"Yes, of course I am a girl, I am your sister"
My sister looks at me, wobbeling on her skates, just to fire off the next question.
"Are you in love with a boy?" (I am very out to my family, and they have all met my ex on several occations)
Even more flustered I have to tell her "No" after I have answered her, she looks at me, nods, and then she announces.
"I am not in love with a boy"

Well, I am happy we established that, I am not a boy and I am not in love with a boy, and I guess I should be happy that my six year old sister is not in love with anyone (at least not a boy).

So many questions

Does this make me look like a boy... 

New Years in Dalarna 2011/2012

Me and Loony partner skating

Me, Loony and five of our close friends (Husse, Jazz, Enoc, Amy and Only) went to Sågmyra, where my mother grew up, and celebrated New Years in my grandparents old house. It totally became another lesbian boot-camp - but this year we had no straight friend to harass... we missed Sarra and Kris from previous year!
We downloaded the 'Truth or Dare' app and went skiiing, snowboarding, ice-skating, cooked, chatted and just spent time together.
We were a little nervous there would be no snow there, and it was not as much snow as last year, but it was better than none at all, as it is in Stockholm right now.

Loony doing piruettes in the sunset

It got colder during the days we were there, and we even dared to skate on one of the local lakes (totally freaked me out for a bit) and we went for an amazingly beutiful walk in the sunset (sun sets arond 16.00).
We are currently trying to talk Enoc into starting derby, she is tall and blonde, so we think she might fit really well for the task...
A new addition to this years celebrating was putting make-up on each other, while the person putting the make up on was blindfolded... Oh, yeah - and a sauna... and a sauna and snow can never go wrong!

Jazz cooked us an AMAZING New Years dinner... it was nice and tasted amazzzing! 

Jazz going for the best make-up job on me ever

Happy New 2012 to all of you! 

Lesbian Drama and snow

 (Snowy streets in Malmø, picture stolen from sydsvenskan.se)

No kidding, Scandinavia is frozen, we are deep in the fridge, there is snow and ice wherever we turn, and it is not common. I know, we get snow, in the NORTH, north of Stockholm where I am from, NOT in Copenhagen and Malmø, not to this extent... this will be a white christmas. Trains are late and cars slide of the streets and I have left Copenhagen to spend the 23rd at Malous family and then we will be heading up to Stockholm to spend the rest of Christmas with my family!

Me and Malou just discovered Lip Service... a lesbian drama series from BBC, and Frankie is HOT HOT HOT... and looks and acts EXACTLY like Shane from L-word. We don't care, we still think she is hot! Same, same but different! So tonight that is waht we are going to do, watch the last episode of Lip Service! Sadly there are only six episodes so far, but I am planning on writing nice little letters to BBC BEGGING for another six, because SERIOUSLY, it is better than L-word because there is no annoying Jenny... peeew...

Me and Malou are going to practice with the Stockholm girls on the 26th, well, I think I am probably coaching, and it be awesome and fun! I miss skating...