Day in My life

Taking the pendeltåg to work

Drinking coffee at work

Making more coffee before work

Runnning practice with awesome derbygirls

Before the lights come on we have the last of the sun in our eyes... 

Playing vs USA

Of course we lost - But we played really, really well, and i am very proud of what has become of Team Sweden. We scored 29 points on the worlds best team - and we built walls that I can be very proud of.
Team USA awarded me MVP, and Fenix got best jammer while Knickerblocker Glory got best blocker. I am super proud of us all, each and everyone that was out on the track, having a calm and fun game, smiling, fighting and playing rollerderby. That's what it's all about!
It was SO much fun to see and play with the CCR girls again! Rollerderby truly saved my soul, and then kidnapped it and keeping it for ransom... I just wonnder what the ransom is...

Team Sweden awarded Team USA:

Best Blocker: Sexy Slaydie
Best Jammer: Bonnie Thunders
MVP: Joy Collision

Team USA awarded Team Sweden:
Best Blocker: Knickerblocker Glory
Best Jammer: Fenix Fortsomfan
MVP: Swede Hurt (probably hte award I am the most proud of ever)

Skating vs Team USA

I tell everyone not to be nervous, even thou my nervousness almost have gotten into an interesting state of flu-like symptoms.
I have to say that life with derby is amazing, I love it. Pressure is a part of it, pressure on a lot of different levels - to be a great coach, hold practices that cater to everyone's needs and wishes, that makes people smile, te pressure to keep your own set of skills and happiness, even if half of the practices you go to are practices when you aren't really skating yourself, just coaching. The pressure to don't do things wrong, to keep a positive attitude and a smile on your face even of your real life (ha ha ha, what is that btw) is falling apart and all you wanna do is lay down and cry.
So the sum of the cardamom (Swedish expression) is that there is lots of different points of pressure to derby, but the love for the sport makes the pressure feel less like pressure and more like either something I do becuse I wanna get better, because I want others to get better and also because we can all be a part of developing this amazing sport! Ahhhhhhmazing is what it is!

So here we are today, just a few hours away from skating a bout that we have pretty much NO chance of winning - but to score is our goal, to fight as hard as we can as a team. We are a team of Viking fighters, of girls that have worked hard to develop derby to what it is today in Sweden.
I am impressed by each and everyone that are on the team today - because of their dedication and their level of play. We only have time against us... But one day - one day...

I am ranting - did I mention that I rant when I'm nervous?

Night out with Fisti and hot laaadies...

I miss skating with Fisti soooo much,  but she is not only an AMAZING skater but a freakign funny and hillerious person, and we both share the attentionspan of a five year old, so we have about as much fun as five year olds in a playground together. Usually people don't give five year olds alcohol... but we just treat ourselves, because that is just the kind of people we are.
I had Kim, Only and Becky over for dinner - and right when we had finished dinner Amy came with Swedish cinnamon buns... the plan was to go to a bar and have a few after dinner. Since we aer not so much on point we left the house hours after we planned, but still found a great place to have drinks and Amy could sing along and dance to various music...

Today Fisti is running our practice, and that will be supernice, to have someone different, and that isn't me to run practice... yay... and Fisit really is one of my favorite skaters, so I am totally looking forward to it... LOVE rollerderby!

Fisti makes awesome rings, now we all have one!

Vampires and great drinks - night and alcohol

Amy is sharing her hair with Only

Fireball - a very stupid idea I totally blame on Kim

After dinner you instagram about it

Heading to Södermalm after dinner

Fisti and Kim are VERY goodlooking

Coaching in Gothenburg, again!

There is no one I love to coach with as much as Mad Maloony, we are both good induvidual coaches, but our coaching styles really complete each other and going on trips and coaching with her is something we both enjoy. Even that we no longer are a couple, we are still very good friends, and share lots of laughts and goals.
So this weekend she got invited to coach Gothenburg, and asked me to come with, and of course I could not say no to tha, because I love coaching Gothenburg. They are such fighters, and work really hard and push themselves, and it is great to see.
We were staying with Obi, and that was superduper awesome, she took the best care of us ever, picked us up at the train, fed us, gave us coffee, and made sure we got to a party with a drink in our hands and then home again in the rain.. .what else is there to a good host...? Oh, she also gave me a cane when my leg was hurting... so I could walk like the old lady I am!

Thanks so much to Gothenburg Rollerderby for inviting us to come coach! It was a nice weekend, even if it involved a 7 o'clock morning train on Saturday...

Getting ready to skate, skate, skate... 

A little sun and a walk before getting on the train - Loony and Obi

On the train going to Gothenburg

The rain while waiting for the tram

Beer at the suprise party

Mushroom picking a' la Swede, Kim and Only

So in Sweden we go into the woods and pick mushrooms - usually you spend a day during the weekend doing that. Since my weekends are CRAMMED the next few weeks, and by the time I have a weekend free - the mushrooms will be gone, I rallied the troops after work on Friday evening and took the subway line to the ends statuon (to Akalla if anyone was wondering). Kim had brought us beers, so we wold not get thirsty in the woods, it's very important to bring the right things.
Kim had a been told by someone at work that there would be mushrooms to pick in the woods in the area... This was probably true, we just seemed to be unable to find those mushrooms, but a lady did bike past us with a basket full of mushrooms, so we are quite sure that there were mushrooms somewhere in the woods, just not where we were calling for them... (yes, we resorted to calling for mushrooms).
We did not leave the woods emtyhanded, we found the total of four gooseberries, a few rasberries, a bunch of uneatble mushrooms, ballons from a wedding the previous week, hazelnuts and a few emty beercans...
Oh, and we found a Persian restuarant and decided we should go back there someday, it seemed really nice.

Ballons that were frm a wedding... not mushrooms

Trying to find the woods

You need a beer to be able to find the mushrooms

Cheers and still not mushrooms

This is how most horror movies starts

Hazelnuts but not mushrooms

We left the woods for some beers... 

Fall is falling over us

The light nights and the flair of the summer that never came are already gone, we are now breathing in that short passage between summer and fall. People are returning to their jobs, returning to school, returning to practice, returning to the city I never left. Nights are dark, and I have to sleep with my nightlight, I miss something that was never there, I feel robbed, summer never arrived, it never took my breath away.

It is now dark and rainy

End of practice - Amy and Loony are watching a moth fly around in circles

Ok, I guess I am bionic

Knock, knock on wood... since a wonderful friend of mine pretty much found me the number to the doctor, I took my poor throbbing leg to the doctor... just for the first doctor to tell me that I had to open it up and empty it of fluids, but he wanted a second opinion by an older doctor, and she thought that they shouldn't do it, because it was so close to teh bone. So they sent me off to the big hospital, so I took the subway to the big hospital and got to limp in the ER entrance with a pieve of paper sayin that I needed help.
 At the big hospital I got to wait for hours and hours while an older butch nurse took my blood pressure and chatted, a younger male nurse pricked me in the finger to draw blood and look for infections in the blood... and then another doctor appeared just to squeeze my leg a little, telling me that I had no infections, and I would get better, and no need to put a knife in me... but not to do things that hurt, together we decided agains X-rays since it would hurt more if I had a fracture...

And then I could go to work... 

Non-derby and derby life and the interaction

The past five years Rollerderby been very prominent in my life - I love it. I work very hard for the sport, with my team-mates and with the coaching and the administration of my current leauge. I consider it worth it, sometimes I do have to take time off... This time it's been time off because I fell off a bardisk that I was dancing on and quite seriously banged up my paw... I still taped it up real good and played a bout on it... Because I am crazy and I tend to think I'm bionic or something like that... But due to the paw, I've spent more time off-skate than I usually do... And this time I spend swimming, I spend boating, seeing my brother and actually just thinking...
I love derby, and sometimes it does feel like I'm ready to retire - I'm just pass the time when lots of girls do hang their skates up, but I'm not ready for it yet... I still have more skating and derby in me...
So therefore I will finally go see a doc with my leg... Since my team and other important people have said so... Even if I still think I'm bionic...

Late nights waitign for the subway to come

Eating with my brother

Walking to and from work

Sitting on the subway from work

Historical guided tours with my brother

The Swedish Castle in Old >Town of Stockholm

Drinking dessert - Boons Kriek in Belgian style

Leg being majorly fucked up

Janica laughing after going swimming

My father and his boat - with the City building in the background

Bonding with the small members of the family...

It happens at times that people take me for a boy, and I must say, I might not dress the most feminie and I'm more athletic than curvy. Being six feet tall (about 180 cm) probably has something to do with it too.  But it happens very sledom and most of the time it's manifested in some strager saying ''excuse me sir''.

The other day I went over to my dad's and I was teaching my six year old sister how to rollerskate. All of a sudden she looks up at me and says:
"Are you a girl?"
A little taken aback by the question, I nod laugh a little and say.
"Yes, of course I am a girl, I am your sister"
My sister looks at me, wobbeling on her skates, just to fire off the next question.
"Are you in love with a boy?" (I am very out to my family, and they have all met my ex on several occations)
Even more flustered I have to tell her "No" after I have answered her, she looks at me, nods, and then she announces.
"I am not in love with a boy"

Well, I am happy we established that, I am not a boy and I am not in love with a boy, and I guess I should be happy that my six year old sister is not in love with anyone (at least not a boy).

So many questions

Does this make me look like a boy... 

Scrimmage practices are back

Sunday scrimmage practices are back - new structures for the fall are getting planned, my old friend Fisti Cuffs will be here next week, and I am excited about that.

Todays scrimmage went well, we played around a little, we laughted real hard, and I got a helmet in my face real hard... Yeah... the things we do for derby...  third time this week I gotten a really hard hit to my nose, I think they are after my nose!

I just seem to be cursed with injuries latley, I might not have mentioned this before, but two weeks ago I fell of a bardisk dancing, and my leg/foot has been a mess ever since. We been taping it so I can skate on it, sort of was needed for the Rainy City game.. yikes... 

STRD at Ung08 in Kungsan

The past two days you could find Stockholm Rollerderby chilling in Kungsträdgården at the youth festival called Ung08, we offered for youth and whoever wanted to try to skate and even had a jamskating coach from London, UK over.

Me myself are still limping after an unfortunate fall from a bardisk a few weeks ago, so the team has ordered me to rest, so I got to watch all the other amazing people do their best....

Lorraine Roberts from London Skate Crew teaching moves

All ages showed up to try skates on

Our star jammer can jamskate as well

Stupis kids smoking by our flag... 

Off skate with Kimizooka

I am still limping and feeling sorry for myself...I still kept up with the other two... I am never hurt, so it's really weird that my leg is healing so slow and I have to be careful at all times... VERY frustrating... Kim is really awesome with running off-skate, I'm sore days after her work-outs... and I like it that way, why work out if you aren't going to give it you 100%... I am also starting to hang out more and more with Kim, and she is a delightful person, superfun to hang out with and awesome and motivating to work out with!

Kimizooka and Alpha Whisky... halfway thorugh...

I don't mind waiting when I can look at this

Back from Rainy City

It's important to warm up before bout...

The team after the bout

We did so great - I am s proud of every player - each one of us! We played so well and it was a tight game, and we poured our souls and sweat into it! Becky and Twisted did a great job on the bench - and we loved to have them there. I will write more tomorrow... we might not have won the bout... but we for sure won the afterparty...

Packing - washing - leaving for airport

This year I was supposed to do less traveling, it did not really work out like that, I just done different traveling. I've travelled less for coaching and more for my own selfish rollerderby pleasure, and that is sad and fun at the same time. I love coaching, but at the same time I miss to just skate for my own damn sake and learn from others...

What to pack? does those look like Stockholm to you?

Still, this weekend Stockholm is playing Rainy City, and they have their venue right outside Manchester, a new travel first... so I'm once again washing and packing and getting ready for another airport ride to Arlanda to get on another flight. Airports has sort of lost their charm, but at the same time I have a special love for them.
So I have to remember passport, flight confirmation, the few pounds I have left from last trip, skates, pads, armbands, boutshirt, something to cover the ass up.. .what... hm.... boardshorts, hotpants, skorts, jeaggings? I miss packing with Loony - she is so much better at this than I am... I probably will finish packing about 10 mins before I have to leave for the airport... oh, I need to bring line-ups and my helmet too... ugh... what else... does everything fit in my backpack? Do I need more than one pair of shoes? If only one pair of shoes... converse or Nike?
Will it be sunny? Or will it rain? Should I bring a jacket? Wheels? What wheels should I bring? Stingers? Will they be to grippy? Should I stick with G-rods? I do like slide... ugha!
Oh, and painkillers, since I had an incident the other day... Kimizooka our new girl, who now is mine and Beckys Bro and personal trainer has given me some... oh...
I love to go on team trips... this is gonna be exciting.. .except from all those choices and the packing... ahhhh....

Forward, forward, forward

Live to forgive but never to forget, living life in the fast lane, is this who I am? It might be a part of me, and I am very happy to let it be a part of me. I am no longer young nor am I old, I'm at that age where I think I am happy to be. Can I stay here? Frozen in a motion, rage in a hillerious dress and with a mission to push the envelope of life? Do I wanna stay here? Do I?

I don't want to be frozen in a motion, I want to finish my stride, I want to continue out of the picture, I want to reach new goals that I am to set for myself.

Recently becomming single has left me with a feeling of emptiness, after two years of intense company I'm like a little kid left in a candystore. There are all those delicious things around me, but at the same time it's scary and lonly and I miss that hand I'm so used to be holding.

 Bittersweet.... i do like sour and sweet candy... is there any correalation?

 I guess I will just start snacking on some candy, fall off some more bars, get some bruises, cry some more and go on more spontanious trips...

 A friend just texted and asked me: Berlin?
And I answered: When?

Happy Pride on and off skates...

Husse, me, Becky, Kim and Enoc being pretty...

Dress to success... This year we were quite a bunch in the Stockholm Pride Parade - it for soem reason always makes my eyes water a little, right before the parade starts... when I look around at all those people that are just like me, and so different. But we are all proud for what we are, and we are allowed to stand up for ourselves and our friends and all those that can't. I am very lucky to be born in Sweden, and I am very lucky to have such a caring family and circle of friends.
Being different, just hte slightest is not easy at all teh times, but being different is not a bad thing, we are all uniqe!
But a big thanks to my friends who made this Pride so amazing and fun... I have had dinners, pre-parties, mellow nights, crazy sweaty dancing and crazy colorful rolling parade-time... each one of you my friends are making my life worth living.

Variety of Swedish Leauges represented... Rollerderby rules!