Recap January - May 2014

2014 was not the greatest of years, I did get lots done, I met some amazing people and I played a lot of rollerderby and almost burnt out trying to juggle work, personal life and rollerderby. 2014 started off with a BANG every weekend was travels and every weekday was practice or rollerderby related meetings over the phone or in real life.



January
Year kicked off with WinterGames bootcamp, that I coached togeher with Eagle. It was supersuccessful, and it felt liek all the hard work leading up to WinterGames was worth it. I also went to LA and played with Team Wolfpack both on the banked and the flattrack. I got to catch up with some old friends in LA and also met some new faces, like Violet, who now is my roomate.

February
Started with EROC in Berlin where I got to see many of my amazing friends from allover the world (mostly Europe) and worked hard on continously evolve rollerderby as a sport and organizational. It truly have been amazing to be able to witness the developmant of EROC. We also went to Dresden and coached togetehr with Fisti Cuffs.. .and we had a great time. I ended the month with a Team Sweden training camp.
I also got to attend my first QX GayGala presentign Film of the Year and me, Loony and Oona where also skating in the opening show.

Team Sweden and Team Finland, two teams that the world will see more of

March
The month started with going to Helsinki to play Team Finland with Team Sweden. We lost but had a great time and developed as a team. On the following day we scrimamged Helsinki and then went to a typical Finnish sauna, that means NAKED. I was staying with Only and Pygmi as usual, I love that I have those two in my life. They also have a sauna in their apartment where we spent tiem and drink alcoholfree beer.  I was interviewed in QX together with the other girls from Flator, and we almost made the cover. And the month was ended by playing Crime City with Stockholm Rollerderby, a bout we won and another Team Sweden bootcamp the next day.





April
Was the premiere of Flator, I went to Malmö and attended a Swedish Skating Association planning weekend and Stockholm Rollerderby played Rocky Mountain (Denver). It was the last game before we headed to Florida. Work was busy... I also went to Munchen and coached, and it was superduper fun, and I got to hang out with my former team-mate Ima Handful. It was an odd time, I wasn't really sure how I felt about being on TV, I don't think I really had given this enought thought (anyone suprised?).

Oona, CrackHer, Me and Mina... POWERLINE

May
I went with Stockholm Rollerderby to Beach Brawl and impressed and suprised everyone by playing way above our ranking. After that I went to Portland and visited Eagle, went camping and got to practice with Rose a whole bunch, we had a very emotional talk where decided to put our relationship on hold until RollerCon.
On the way home I touched down in NYC and seed of moving to NYC was planted. Back in Europe I went for work in Tallinn and then straight to London to play two bouts with Team Sweden. I was mentally exhausted and even if I played well, I mostly wanted to cry. I didn't really feel I was performing well in any field of my life.

Sweden vs. England, we impressed ourselves more than anyone else. 

Happy Holidays from Sweden

I guess in my case I'd say Merry Christmas since I come from a Swedish Lutheran tradition, secular but we have a bearded white man give us gifts on the 24th of December. In Sweden we like to be one step ahead so we do the gifts and celebration a day before most others. 

In my family the adults dont give each other gifts, and for some reason they (whoever THEY are) decided Im an adult and don't get anything. We DO play a game of Christmas gifts, where you acctually compete for your gifts. Yeah, so this year I participated in two games and all I won was dried mushrooms and a hammer. I can't complain, I'll make a delisous chanterelle soup and make sure to hammer something up or down.

My best friend Em who usually lives in Paris just came into town for a few days. It's real awesome! NowI just wish my NYC family could be here too... Most of all of course Carnage. 

When they say expect the unexpected, this was not what I think theymeant, or maybe it was.

For some reason I have A Camps song "Love is stronger than Jesus" echoing in the back of my head right now. IF you havent heard it i strongly recommend it... Well, this post is not really about rollerderby, because sometimes life and love happens.

They say that love will strike unexpected, and that you never know with who or when. About eight years ago I told my mom that I probably never would bring home a boy again, and then I came out to all my friends. Maybe, just maybe I came out to my friends first and then I told my mother who of course told my father, because that's how it works in my family, there are no secrets. That's probably why my brother never have brought home a girlfriend. He's probably the smarter one of us.

Me on the other hand brought home a few girlfriends, my family never cared who I dated as long as they treated me well and I was happy. They always treated my partner as my partner, like a person that I was involved in, some they liked more than others. 
I've been really out and proud, i was even on a TV-show called Flator (aka Lesbians). 

 Being gay in the rollerderby community probably is one of the most comfortable experiences. My sexuality and love was never questioned and I never really questioned it myself, it just was never an issue. I love the friendships I've gained through Vagine Regime, and I truly believe that you fall in love, you fall in love and you look past gender just the way you look past so many other things when you fall in love, but that's me, that is who I am. I just didn't think it really applied to me, looking past genders I mean.

 But it all began when me and Kenbo decided to play reallife Tinder, a joke of course since tinder terrifies me, and hitting on on people at the bar is even worse... But we gave it a good (unsuccessful) go, maybe because we were too sober, maybe because it was Sunday, maybe because it was a terrible but hillerious thought that never should be put into action. 

So I found myself walking home with Violet who I live with and this dude. I didn't really know him that well, I knew he was a friend of my friends, played for NYSE and I thought he was attractive, for a few reasons. He was kindly escorting us home since we live in such a lovely neighbourhood, and probably also because we are such delightful company. When we got home we (probably me) offered him homemade cheesecake, one of those things that happen to frequent our refrigerator. (Thanks to Vish) He looked so adorable and a little lost on our couch when we ran around the apartment and I sat down next to him. And we talked, and we talked, and we talked.... and later that night he leaned in and kissed me, and I kissed him back.

 I didn't fall in love with him then, and maybe not the next day when he took me on a date and maybe not for a while, but my heart flutters when I hear his voice and I miss him when I'm not with him. I don't know where this is going, I don't know at all, and it confuses me and it makes me worry. I can't help it, and he just happen to be a he, and it's all so crazy weird to tell your mom "yeah, I'm seeing someone, it's a guy". It sort of is like coming out to the world again, and NO I'm not straight, I'm in love! (Well, you know what I mean)

 I probably shouldn't put so much value on his gender, because I really don't care, he's got a beard and a penis, so what!? IF I don't care, why should anyone care?

 Him is what I fell for, the way he takes my hand when we walk down the street, how he tries to make me understand rhythm, how he buys me icecream when I want it and how he always has iced coffee on his way to work, how I can block him, and how frustrated I get when he get past me. How he looks at me. And the way I feel when I'm with him, and it also brings me to the point where I miss him being half a world away. 

 He's in New York and I'm in Stockholm and it makes me feel lonely.

Ready for the World Cup

Name and number: Berglöf "Swede Hurt", #46.
What is your home league? Gotham Girls Rollerderby.
What's your preferred position on the track? I love blocking, but I will do whatever the team is asking and need me to do. I'll jam, and I do think it is fun, but I wouldn't like to be a main jammer.

When did you start with Roller Derby? November 2007.
What's your derby motto? Tillsammans, tillsammans, tillsammans (Together, together, together).
I love that rollerderby is a teamsport, we win together and we lose together. We go out on the track together and make each other shine.

Which song is your best theme song?
I don't really have a specific song, but it probably be a The Sounds song.

StateWars 2014 in Daytona Beach

Photo by Ken LeBleu

I wasn't sure if I was going to go or not, but in the end I couldn't say no to such a opportunity. I was in Sweden so I was supposed to fly into Ft. Laurendale late Thursday, rent a car and drive up to Daytona. 

Well, Norwegian Air had different plans for me, since their the flight was 11h delayed. I came in early Friday morning and missed my first game against Iowa. I guess shit happens. But the next game was just a few hours away and we played Oklahoma, and secured a substantial win.  I was superexcited to see my roommate Vish and brother from another mother Kenbo, but in all honesty I was the most excited to see Carnage who's arms I just ran into when I saw him. The Men's New York team only had nine players, still they looked really strong. 

Saturday we started off the day playing Mass - even if I went to bed thinking we were supposed to play Wisconsin or Alabama. The scedual kept on confusing me, but I cant really say that I made a huge effort to understand it, I just showed up and played rollerderby. After beating Mass we played Georgia, and we won that game too.  So according to scedual we were supposed to play Iowa (again) and we decided that we wanted to play them again. Because we thought we could win, we were wrong. 

Loosing to Iowa set us up to play Texas 8.30 am on Sunday morning. The Texas game turned out to be superclose, first we had a substatial lead, and then in the second half they pulled away for a bit. Maven had an amazing last jam, but in the end they beat us. We really wanted to win, but our bodies were just tired and we were exhausted, my toe was really hurting and taking my skates off was sort of a relief. I still love rollerderby, and I would gladly have played two more bouts.

In the end Colorado went on and won it all, thier team looked superstrong and they played Texas in the final. I guess I can be ok with loosing to the team that took second.

I had an amazing time at StateWars, got to play five bouts and got to spend time with old and new friends. After party was a few beers and a burger for me, the burger was the real highlight. i took a slow walk on the beach and it was really peaceful before I went back to our crowded hotelroom.

I am thankful and happy that I had an opportunity to skate on Team New York. And congratulations to Team Colorado for taking home the win! And congratulations to Carnage on the New York Mens team that took home tournament MVP.

Recap of the past month... sort of...

I am sorry friends, family and others that happen to read my blog, I've really been lacking in writing and skating, dating, writing, thinking and working out. I just have not had time to reflect about anything but the current "right now" state of union.

I downloaded Tinder for a day, turned it into a real life game and met a person that made my heart skip and jump a beat. It's sort of magical and amazing.

I also practices, practiced, practices and went to WFTDA Champs and got to be a part of the team that once again brought the Hydra home. It was beyond an amazing weekend, the level of play was just AMAZING, the athletic aspect of rollerderby is just raising each year and it makes me proud and excited to be a part of the community. I also got to see lots of friends from allover the world, Mainey,Eagle, Rotten, Krissy Krash, Demanda, Mad Dog, Kasey Bomber, Nasty Trick and tons of more... Its just amazing to be a part of a rollerderby and all the great people and friends I have made.

I went back to NYC and spent even more time with this amazing person, just to realise that sometimes you just ought to follow your heart whatever other people say. So I am. I ended up NSOing a scrimmage in Philly, since I went down with Kenbo, Frozen and Carnage, my first time NSOing. I've done almost everything in derby, and now I can add NSOing to the list of things that I have done.

Kenbo, Carnage, me and Frozen on ourway to Philly

And then I went to Sweden to work and attend WET, an European WFTDA tournament in my old hood, Crime City was hosting. I was amazined over how great all the teams did. I was happy to have OMG representing Brooklyn Skates at the tournament. I just got new skates, and I played a bout in them the second time I wore them. Oh, yeah, that happened at WET, a European mixed team called EuroTräsh played Team Finland. It was SO MUCH FUN. OH, and Stockholm did fantastic, I am so happy and proud of them. They showed that they are much better than their ranking indicated. Stockholm will always have a special place in my heart!

Oona, me and Fluke at WET

So, as you can tell I've been really busy and now I'm back in Stockholm again, but heading to Florida and StateWars tomorrow. Another adventure and I get to see some of my best friends and also finally get to rest in the arms of somone special.

Going to WET 2014

Today I travel to Copenhagen to hang out with OMG and Krazy Kris for a night before the WET tournament begins. 10 European teams of great caliber face off during three days in Malmö, my old hometown. I am looking forward to see this, I am looking forward to be a part of this.

I am  part of an European Allstar team that is going to bout against Team Finland on Sunday and on Saturday, Team Sweden has practice, at 07.30 AM... I am looking forward to both occations.

I miss NYC, especially a certain person that I grown very fond of, a person that makes my heart skip and jump, but I m also happy to be back in Sweden where it all began four years ago. Sometimes it's hard to feel so torn between two different places. 

Off-season... oh no it's not yet

WFTDA Championships 2014

We went to Nashville for Champs, and it was an amazing weekend with some of the best rollerderby ever. My team is amazing and I love that we play so well together. I didn't make the roster, but I know I'm still an important part of this team, and being able to be there and suppport the team also means something.

I got to meet friends from allover the world, and I relise how important rollerderby is to me, and how much I love to play the sport, how much I love to skate, skate, skate... and all my friends that I have in rollerderby.

Photo by Sean Hale

Another practice, blisters, and just that thang... learning

Sometimes everything is just great, just great, I'm hyper (most of the time) and I want to do everything. Yesterday I went to open skate and then stayed around for NYSE practice that Jonathan R lead. I had blisters when I started skating... 4 hours later, they were no better... that's all I can say on that matter. We all choose dumb things at times... my blisters choose to not go away... but dont worry, we will have words.

I am constantly feeling like I am catching up on skills, the past four years I developed a lot, but my prime focus was to teach and coach others, to develop teams and rollerderby in general. On many oaccations me being the most seasoned and skilled skater. And as I've said before, I don't mind, I love being able to coach and share all the derby with everyone.

BUT it is really amazing to be able to go to a practice and learn a bunch of new skills, well, at least take a stab at them. Yesterday it was fun, because we did a bunch of skills that were derived from speedskating, artistic skating and jamskating... and against my own better understanding, we scrimmaged for a bit.

Yeah.... I am hurting today, from using a bunch of unkonwm muscles and from a nice hit I got that really sent me flying... happens... it happens...

So far this month I have skated for about 36 hours (including my outdoor skate) - and I've gotten better at feeding myself. I've started to cook at home, at this point I might be making a little too much pasta, but yesterday I made crepes filled with mincedmeat sauce. Freaking amazing in my mouth after practice. 

Two weeks til Champs

Gotham Allstars practice today - things that were mentioned: buttplugg and pullout after 10-15 seconds...

At times I want to cry, because it is hard. And then I laugh, really hard, because those amazing woman around me are all on my team. 

Pink hair and NYSE getting THIRD

I woke up this morning wearing a gold lamé dress and my hair pink with golden jewlery stuck in it. Sometimes things just don't end up the way you plan them to be, and for the past few months I've tried to be more carefree... I guess this really shows success...

I even felt slightly hung over, and when checking my e-mail I realised that I missed dodgeball with NYSE. I was still in time for the GGRD/NYSE combined on-skate part of practice. Most of the dudes were in Tacoma an dcurrently GGRD are in off-seson, except from us Allstars... so it was not really the busiest. We ended a little early to grab food before we sat down and watched NYSE play.. .and that was the rest of the day... I watched mens derby with a bunch of people and I enjoyed it. I still have to say that "come on my chest" is a thought that pops up ever so often... sooo much chest to chest action... at times in the Puget Sound/NYSE they skated so close chest to chest I think they were about to ask each other out on a date. At least they seem to have enought time to share some real intimte time...

NYSE ended up third - so we celebrated that with some nice cava...  SO many CONGRATULATIONS to NYSE, you guys did awesome and it was great to watch you. Being able to skate with those guys really have given me a new and more positive look on merby, and it has been superfun. And it was fun to watch Southern Discomfort... GO England! Derby truly is sreching allover the world...

And then I went home, L-train through Bushwick while Maven was falling asleep on my shoulder. I am for once starting to feel like I have my feet under me in a very long time. I think I'm starting to feel like I'm home.

Night ending with listen to all sorts of music together with Vish and eating ice-cream... yeah... it is life!

Insomnia is for sure still something that I have to deal with, and at times I think we might have a korean waterghost in the apartment... 

Coaching Junior Rollerderby and MRDA Champs

Today I asked Gotham juniors, and it was so much fun. I never coached junior, well, in a very long time, so it was a great experiance. It's funny, when I got there Mick said to me: Oh, the big kid is coaching the smaller kids. And it might be that way, I am a real big goofball... it was a little odd coaching at first, since I really have not been coaching since I left Sweden a few months ago. But coaching juniors is pretty much like coaching anyone. Maybe their attentionspan is a little shotrer, but then half of the derbyplayers I know seem to suffer from ADHD or some simular attentionspan deficency. It is what it is....
I did my favorite off-skate and the warm-up I used to run with Stockholm all the time, I havent either coached such a small group in a long time, it sort of reminded me of when I started coming over to Sweden, and all leauges only had 7-15 players at practice.

After coaching I went over to a friend and watched NYSE play their first game in Tacoma at the Man Champs. They did good and won with alsmost 200 points... it's cool to see two of your coaches play, and some part of me want to tease Buster about going to the box so much.

So today been full of derby, and I am still watching the men play, my first coach from Jet City plays on Puget Sounds, so it's fun to watch them play Bridgetown (Portland) that I also slightly know some players on.

As I*ve said before, I adore derby, womam, man and junior... the rollerderby I play will always be closest to my heart... but at the same time... the more derby, the better. Tomorrow NYSE will be playing the Gatekeepers, so it's gonna be real exciting.... I am sooo down for watching more roller derby!

Life with rollerderby in Gotham

Practice is amazing, I love to feel that I'm feeling more and more like I'm a part of the team. It is always hard to come to a new team, and trying to become a part of the hivemind, is not the easiest task I have taken on. i knew it wasn't going to be easy, but it's been soo great and I've learned a ton.

I mena, it's freaking hard to play against hte best of the best and always fighting to get better, but since I started to read a book about positive selftalk. I has gotten better and better. I really think that it have had a good impact on my gameplay. I just simply tell myself that only I cn take responsability of my own actions.

A great Sunday on skates and some thoughts about men derby...

This morning I woke up to NO coffee, taht is for sure not a great morning, I woke up, took a shower, trampled a small cockroach, emailed Abe and asked if I could join the Shock Exchange practice (that's the New York mens team) and took off to Crashpad to spy on Fresh Meat and help Bones with some paper filing. I met her on the subway and the great rson she is, she had COFFEE in a jar to share with me. Right then I knew it was gonna be a great day. After over an hour of filing paperwork for our rec leauge I ran into Abe who told me I was welcome to skate with the dudes. Yay, day was getting better.

To be honest, I've always have had very mixed feelings about men and their desire to play rollerderby. It's not that I have anything against mens rollerderby, I for a long time felt like rollerderby was something that I as a woman worked really hard to make what it is today (absolutley with help from male referees and volonteers). I felt that if men wanted to play a fullcontact sport, why couldn't they just play hockey or something else that men already had a really big presence in. I felt very entiteled to rollerderby, and there are several reasons to it, several things that are to personal to write about in this blog and some simple reasons as in that we live in a patriarchy. I don't hate men in any way, some men annoy me, so does some women. And to be honest, I don't mind playing rollerderby with men, most men I've played rollerderby with are delightful and amazing. They love this sport just as much as I do and work hard to push it forward, they recognize that women are what made rollerderby to what it is today.
What worries me is that it might get lost, the respect for women, but there are so many things that might get lost, and when it comes down to it all, "the more rollerderby, the better". I love to play rollerderby, and who would I be to take that away from anyone. Still I have to admit it scares me.

I had a great time skating with NYSE today, they are all really nice and cool dudes, some of them freaking amazing derbyplayers, and their size really does challange me, I am used to be able to push other players out of the way... not so much here. They have a different style of play, MUCH more backwards blocking, def a skill I need to work on more, and are all really hardworking. I had a great time, and they are going to MRDA champs next weekend. And I wish them ALL the luck, and some more in Tacoma... ahhh... good old Tacoma!

After practice i had a beer and then I went home and made a great pasta meal for me and Vish. Yepp, life is not bad at all... 

Back on Westside Highway

I met up with Snagge, who is a skater from Gothenburg Rollerderby that is travelling US for a few months, to skate the Westside Hightway that runs along the Westside of Manhattan. When I lived in NYC a few years back I lived down in TriBeCa and used to skate it almost every week. So it was a little of a memortlane sort of skate.
It was really fun, and quite brisk skate... I was already sore when I started, I am not sure if skating is the best way of gettting rid of tired legs... but I think it was worth a try...

Part of the skate was really awesome, and about as quiet and naturelike as it gets in NYC. I completly wanna go again before the fall takes over... not to talk about the winter... brrr...

Sometimes you just miss what you don't have...

I love NYC, but sometimes it's a city, it's a loud city, and it's one of the reasons why I do love it. The pace, the honesty, the drive to always go, go, go... it is also EXHAUSTING.

I wake up and feel tired, I have forgotten what the sound of no sound is and I feel like I am running, running and running and yet doesn't accomplish anything. Those days are hard, and I stand in the middle of the street and I'll shed a tear, and sometimes I guess it is fine to go home and sleep.

When I came to NYC I slept so much, I slept and slept and just couldn't get enought of sleep because I had let my life run crazy with me.

Currently my head is spinning, I have so many words that want to run through my fingers, to fill page after page of stories and at the same time I want to walk and sort all those pages out. I am turning page after page, and like a spellbook, each sentance seem to have a new meaning after every word spoken.

I love Gotham Allstars...

I love to play with you, and I hate to play against you. Gotham Allstars practice is the hardest practices I hav ever been too, and sometimes I feel like sitting down and crying, but at the same time I know it makes us all better. I just have to dig deep and try harder. everyone working so hard, this team is so amazing.

When we split up to scrimmage I always look at the ppl in the opposing team and think, damn WHY DO I HAVE TO SKATE AGAINST THEM? And then I look at the ppl on my team and think, DAMN, I GET TO SKATE WITH THOSE GIRLS! It motivates me to work hard and harder!

This week I went to practice leauge Monday and stayed for an extra hour after and played around with some skills, Open Scrimmage on Tuesday, leauge and Allstars scrimmage on Wednesday and Allstars practice on Thursday. Today I am just gonna watch playoffs and tomrrow I'm helping out with Gotham try-outs before I'm going to Scrimmage with Traitors.... yay... more rollerderby!

Let's work it out

Back in NYC!

Watching play-offs all weekend and being excited about rollerderby and how well my friends are doing out on the track. The restlessness of the city makes me want to run. I am going to start running, every morning. I just realised I have lost weight, I don't know why, maybe because I just don't cook as much here.

I just moved in with Viscious and Violet, we named our apartment TripleThreatHive, we are feeling good about it. One day I will write all about the wonders of aparmenthuntin in NYC, it's sort of a fun thing. Well, scratch that... it is sort of a funny thing, if you are into dealing with idiots and a market that is going rampage. 

I miss trees, I miss nature, I miss mountains, I Love NYC but it makes me crave something really far away, something that isn't tamed. NYC is everythign but tamed, it's a human created wilderness, with a constant buzz, it still will never have the power of nature to make you feel like the tinest thing in the world and nothing you do can really have an impact. , I miss the quietness that a city never can provide. The constant sounds are what drives me, but also what makes me want to run, run and run. I have this urge to lay down and smell earth, I feel bad for them whom never really had the opportunity to be in away from this all.

This summer I sat and looked out over a landscape of woods, woods, woods and more woods, the full moon was making it able to see the mountains and it was warm enough to just wear short sleeves. I am not a countrygirl, I grew up in suburbia, I still had the opportunity to pick wild berries and make jam, to pick mushrooms and eat, to see deer and moose, in the wild. I wish for my children to have this too, if I have children.

And yet, I love the skating here, I love Gotham, I love the team, I love that I for each day learn something about myself, as a skater and as a person. I have so many wants and desired that I ometimes think that life can never last long enough.

What does this all mean?

To be honest, I don't know, I don't know at all! I just know that I am willing, able and going to roll with the punches and that only I can ever take my own destiny in my hands.

Those days and nights we have

Matter of fact, I am always working hard towards something... for each passing day I realise what I love, waht I miss and how those things don't always go along.
There is nothign I love more than the north, I love the quietness of tundra, of mountains, the clean air, the softness of snow falling on your face. The sound of the crust of the snow cracking under your foot in the morning. (In swedish there is a word for it, it's skare, according to my translating app, they call it crust in English.)

I think growing up in the North you really appreciate summers, those nights that never end, and we never sleep, just to catch up on all that sleep in the winter.

And yet I find myself in NYC, a place where there is far from tree to tree and I'm slightly always on the go. This city moves me, the muggy days, the hot summer, the freezing nights and most of all the ROLLERDERBY. I came back, because I can't stay away, my most quiet experiances are sitting on the roof of a building in Brooklyn.

One day... mountains, horse and all that will happen... one day... but just not yet.. 

Todays first world problem

Those clothes were sweaty and also need to be cleaned...

I put laundry on in the basement of my building, I went and worked out, I put everything in the dryer while I went upstair into my apartment and took a shower. I laid down on my bed wrapped in my towel to realise that everything I was wearing for my trip to NYC was in the dryer.

WHAT TO DO?

(what I did, I threw on a fancy dress and grabbed my stuff)

Stockholm, I love you

Stockholm is really the most beutiful city in the world, there is no way to argue that it's not. I love it so much!
I walk through the city in the night, and I walk through it during the day... and I love it, my heart aches because I love it so much. 

Rugby...rugby...rugby

I have this sudden urge to start playing rugby, it's really weird... It's been an itch for years now... and I fear I am probably too old and it does look painful... and I would hate to get hurt and not being able to play rollerderby... but still... rugby looks like it's soo much FUN!

If I dont talk to you it's probably because I'm shy

I am terrible at smalltalk, I am terrible at talking to people I don't really know. Those are social skills that I fail at. If YOU don't strike a conversation with me, I probably will not talk to you, and it's not because I don't like you, it's prbably because I don't really know what to say.

I am not the greatest at social situations, and I know it. I am goofy, have a short attention span, forget things ALL the time and MAJOR time management problems. I also get easily distracted, by everything!

I am great at lots of things, but small talk and striking conversation is not two of them. I used to refuse to answer the phone at work for a long time, because I hated to talk to strangers on the phone. I sometimes have a hard time to strike conversation with people I know for a long time. I am not one to just talk, I try sometimes, but I'm not brilliant at it, I usually feel a little flustered and probably end up saying somethign goofy.

My hearing is also terrible, just aweful, in any bar or place where there is lot's of background noise, I will not be able to keep up in a conversation. I usually smile and nod, I have probably agreed to lots of dumb thing, just because I couldn't follow the conversation...

I guess what I wanted to say with this post is that: Just because someone doesn't talk to you doesn't mean they are ignoring you. Sometimes a small ting like just walking up to someone and ask them what you really have on your mind makes it all easier. No one I know is a mindreader, and I will for sure not know what you are thinking if you don't tell me... it is a two-way thing, and I TRY to get better, but often it's just easier to talk to people I already know... because I am shy!

This doesn't really have much to do with it text, I stole it from Onlys facebook because it's awesome and totally on point!




.

Reflections, reflections and more reflections when in Stockholm

I guess I should have seen my tiredness coming, and the sudden retirement of DNN really got me thinking, that and som much more. I am in Stockholm and I´m jetlagged watching the fullmoon shine over the empty quiet lanscape outside of my mothers house. I love it here and I wonder why I always have to go...

A year ago I posted this :http://swedehurtgoesfit.blogspot.se/2013/09/i-am-just-so-damn-me.html and I really did not slow down a single time since. I turned down a family trip to Brazil so I could manage and coach Wintergames in January  (yes the rest of Stockholm Rollerderby did a great job too, but this blog just happen to be about ME) and YES it was great to have my girlfriend come in and coach, but that is just not the point. I loved and still love Stockholm Rollerderby, I can't tell you how many hours I have spent of my office time, late nights and on the subway to answer e-mails, network, plan practices, book flights, print sceduals, find someone to coach other practices, figure out what to do when our hall space get cancelled ect ect... and I always felt stressed that I didn't do enough, that I wasn't living up tp expectations, and it wasnt always others, but also my own. I'm a strong athletic woman with endless time and energy...

I worked fulltime, went to school part-time and did derby fulltime... this is not a complain, this is just a fact. I didn't really like my job, I stayed on because it was a good source of income. I felt lonely with my girlfriend so far away and most of all, I felt underapreciated, and I know I was apreciated. I still didn't feel like I was good enough, with my hamstring healing much slower than I wanted and constanly being in pain, it made me push harder and harder. I am competative and I wanted to win at life, in rollerderby, in love, in everything.

At the end of the May I was just miserable and I knew I needed a break, a cut off, a get away. And I did... I wasn't ready to leave rollerderby so I went back to NYC. I slept, and I slept and I skated, skated and skated,. And I slept more and some more... the healing of sleep can not be underestimated. I also did some major staring into the wall and writing all my anxiety away.  I went to NYC because I needed to push myself harder in rollerderby, because rollerderby is that important of a component in my life, it was: sink or swim, and I was swimming for my dear life! I needed to progress my own skills and I needed to grow stronger and build some trust in myself. I needed to be somewhere where I felt it was ok to be just me. And I have grown stronger, I learn something new every practice, and I push, push myself because I allow myself to try new things all the time. I cannot thank OMG and Bonnie enough for letting me crash in their extra room to gain myself back.

When I got the email that I made the Gotham Allstars Charter, I felt really proud and I can't deny that my eyes teared up, because it meant a lot to me, it did not only mean that I'm a skilled skater but a teamplayer. Going to Sacramento was amazing, it is the first tournament I have ever gone to and not being rostered,  saw my team go out and perform, and I felt excited that I belonged to this team. Not gonna lie, I much rather be playing, and I will push myself at every practice to be rostered for next time. I will listen, learn and try, fall and get up again. I know I am a part of the team and being at practice we challange each other, and in that way we all become better and better and better.

I miss coaching very much, and at Sacramento this weekend TARAism came up to me, and told me how my coaching had helped her. (She studued abroad in Sweden for a year and skated with Stockholm Rollerderby) It made me warm and fuzzy inside, it also made me miss Stockholm Rollerderby.

I am very proud of being a part of Gotham, it's my home but so is Stockholm... and I often miss Stockholm Allstars, we have had som many great times together, trips, practices, meetings and dreams. We went to Florida and played three amzing bouts, we almost beat Houston, we were 50 points away from Steele City, we did get our asses kicked by Tampa... but we weren't steamrolled.

I still left Florida feeling like I had let the team down, we werent gonna go to D2 playoffs, and at the same time I got my heart broken and I had to sit myself on a flight to London to play with Team Sweden and try to smile, smile, smile even if I was breaking into a thousand pieces .  I just wanted somone to shake me and hug me and say I did amazing things. I got lost in London (like REALLY lost ) and got yelled at and I broke into a thousand pieces on the inside but kept on smiling as much as I could.

 At that point I realised I had to take off. I needed a vacation from who I had taken on to be. 

Going to Sacramanto Playoffs

I will be going to Sacramento with Gotham in just two days, tonight is the last practice before we take off. I am VERY proud to be a part of Gotham Allstars again, and I am learnign something new everyday!

I have so much on my mind right now. Life is a curious thing, and the thoughts that are running around in my head are many and utterly confusing.

Can't wait to be in Sacramento!

RollerCon 2014

RollerCon is always fun, but you never really know what to expect more than it is going to be fun and that you get to play with and against of awesome and exciting people.

Last year sort of sucked, because I was injured and wanted to skate so bad that I did skate but performed really poorly and was in pain the entire time. I guess on the plusside last year was that I met Eagle, it was worth all the pain ;-)

Well, this year Vagine Regime was a great bout to play, the people on the roster makes me so excited it makes me almost wet myself, but I don't because it would totlly show on the grey pants...

Fasholes vs. Tomboys is always the most hillerious, and this year I think I got "best outfit", another bout that was hillerious and I hope I get invited to skate in next year again was Prancersice vs. Twerk... I am a natural born Prancersicer... not sure if that is something to be proud of... but I AM!! Also playing with team Cruz is always delightful, I get to let my inner Viking out and just growl at everyone... yeah, that's what I consider a sucessful bout.

I guess what's fun with most of the challange bouts at rollercon is that they don't matter, some do, like the VR-bout, but many you just step on the track and do your best and mistakes can just be laughed away... I jam... and I jam... but mostly block and I try new things!

Hanging out in the pool, or by the pool during night was also great, this year I spent a lot of time with Rose City skaters, I guess I've visited Portland quite a bit the past year, and also this year they had quite a representation.

We went to the Vegas Haufbrau Haus, it's the third year we did that, and it was amazing and awefully fun and this year I had two steins of wheat beer and got way to intoxicated. It's an off-campus activity that I really appreciate being a part of. I love RollerCon, but after a few days at the Riviera it's nice to just leave and do something different with your friends.

If you wanna get  better view of what happened at RollerCon 2014, get the next issue of Five on Five, since I wrote a RollerCon 2014 re-cap for them.

Sorry this post is late, but I've been very focused on other things... like making GOTHAM ALLSTARS... :-D

Swedish Championships in Rollerderby 2014

I know this is real late, but I've thrown my life in a crazy direction and made a bunch of rational and probably irrational changes... And it has lead to no blog in a while, since I frankly have not really had my computer around not time to write. This is about to change....

Last year I stod on the bench, coaching my team to a gold. I felt like i was a part of that gold, even if a torn hamstring the previous month stopped me from any sort of rollerderby action. It was awesome to bench, but I still love playing rollerderby too much, I still love skating fast and hitting hard, I want ready to retire. 

So this year I got to skate in the finals against Crime City. It was superduper fun but hard to play. This was my last bout with Stockholm for quite a while...  Both Stockholm and CCR played well, but in the end Stockholm took the win. This was a real hard bout to play, and both teams deserved to win. 

It was also my last bout with Stockholm for 2014...

I rather share my adventures than go alone

So I guess sometimes it's nice to enjoy that single lifestyle, of not having to ever care about someone else's feelings, never feeling limited.

BUT the best thing with a partner is all the things you can share. All the adventures you can go on, and then with arms and legs snuggled around each other talk about those adventures you went on, while falling asleep.

To just lay down, hearts beating the same speed and look into each other's eyes, and wait for the other one to fall asleep, so you can start another day together. To have a long list of places you wanna go, things you wanna do and all the sex you wanna have.

Someone that just loves you for who you are... Someone that will hold your hand I the dark, because she knows that you hate the dark, even if she think it silly...  Someone that forgives you for being allover the place and want your best. Someone you care so much about and you just want to get random gifts, just because you know that it will make her smile. Somone that loves that you are a showoff, but knows you still need assurance, because that's the way you are.

Somone you trust, and together you ca make fun of the rest of the world, becase to be hones, anythign can make the two of you laught, when you are together. Don't make it so hard...

And last but not least, someone to have increadble sex with... 

Playing Team USA again

I had an amazing weekend playing rollerderby in Stuttgart, Germany. Team Sweden played Team USA, and we scored so much more than we did last time. The level of rollerderby in Sweden have really done HUGE strides forward. The game was really fast and I felt like we played well together, it was fun to be in the same line as Alotta and Tjutet, two Crime City players. Alotta has been around since I lived, skated and coached Crime, Tjutet was Fresh Meat when I was leaving, and they are both great strong players. 

It was great to see so many friends in one weekend,both American, German and Swedish! International hugfest!

Team USA held a bootcamp during the weekend, and I participated in the Sunday sessions, and it's always really interesting to listen and learn from other coaches. I really liked the blocking session that Smarty, Jackie and Baller ran, I think I really picked up a few things. 

I did miss half of the blocking backwards session that Pfister, AJ and Cherri ran, because I decided on having breakfast. It really is not what I'm the best at, and I need to practice more, I stand up too much when I do it. Even if I do know that I probably always will be most successful blocking with my ass... But as I always say, the more tricks you have in your bag...

ECDX weekend was awesome

Of course it totally sucked not to skate and the lack of pool. ECDX pool has always been an amazing experiance, I will always rememebr when Montreal had a little danceshow for us. And talking about Montreal, their spacewolf pants this year are aaaamazing! Keeping the dream alive.

It was real fun to see Tiger Bay, Helsinki and of course Crime City play, it's so amazing and awesome to see how well  European teams are performing, and proving over and over that Europe is underanked. Victoria from Australia showed that they very much deserve the ranking that they are at.

 Crime City vs. Providence was REALLY exciting, I am SO impressed over how they kept it together and played well, despite that Juciy, one of their skaters, broke her ankle in the game the day before.

Other games that were ttally worth watching were Montreal and Terminal City that played a tight and superexciting game, Gotham vs. Philly that was a little tigher than I would have assumed, but freaking LOVE to watch Slaydie and Diva go at it. The clash of the Titans! And damn Bonnie, she's just sort of "OK guys, I am just gonna stick myself between you and slide by". Impressive and lovable!

I also had a good time just haning out with friends talking about rollerderby, watching rollerderby and having a few beers. I was stayng with OMG and Bonnie and even if they were playing I think I was the first one to fall asleep. I've become such a sleeper the past year... Sleeping is goood for you!

Today I'm going to practice and I am very excited about it, YAYAAAAA... I gotta go rollerskating... Tomorrow I think I am gonna go outdoor rollerskating, I miss it! Just skating up the West Side High Way on Manhattan is SO MUCH FUN!! (fuck running, when you can skate) I once made Trish do it with me, and she got the worst blisters, so my mission is to get her a pair of better fitting skates...

Heading to ECDX

Been in NYC for a few days, really been feeling quite crappy and tired... Haven't done much but hang out with OMG and Bonnie, been to a practice and watched soccer with my Colombian friend Sunny... yeah... good times! Oh, and of course I got to see one of my best friends Only who is in town with Helsinki ROllerderby.

Today I'm heading towards ECDX in Philly, more about that after this weekend. But in short hand I get to see Tiger Bay, Crime City and Helsinki Rollerderby play american teams. It is always awesome to see how European teams fare in USA, since we all seem to be quite underanked.

I am bringing my skates, but with outdoor wheels and my running shoes, after feeling crappy for a few days I just can't wait to work out again.

taking a deep breath, coaching and testing new wheels

Wednesday  I was coaching my last Stockholm practice in quite a while, i am heading to USA on Monday, staying there until I go to Stuttgart to play Team USA and then to head back to Sweden to play the Swedish Champs!

Yes, life is fun and busy!

Practice was for our more advanced skaters, and I planned a bunch of things that we need to improve, getting lower, blocking backwards and then turn around and keep the jammer on the ass, bracing, stay together and use plows to slow a pushy jammer down, keep your core strong, toe stop work and then the darn hockey stops. I always also try to throw in some endurance and some skating in the opposite direction at every practice.

When I coach I alternate between coaching skills I'm good at and things I need to improve. Being the coach it's not always fun to fall on your ass every time you are trying to demo hockeystops the way you suck at it. At the same time, if I don't I will never improve... and at least when you fall you know you are trying hard. Yesterday really was lots about skills I need to improve, and I guess the rest of the league also get to improve.

My new task is to become a better jammer, so lots of footwork in my future, I am not a fancy spinner, I am a dumb "I will get through here" sort of jammer. So maybe I will try the fancy spinner a little more, be good for me.

I just got a set of new Juice wheels that I tried out, and I really liked them from the get go. Durometer 95 worked really well on the dirty concrete surface we skate on during the summer.

Fifteen skaters, a track, a deadleg and a musicvideo

A small but fun gang... SCRIMMAGE TIME!

Monday was a looong day at work, fun, but lots of new things. I am currently working on a project for SQORE. If you are competative in academics, this is really something to check out! Just do it! ok?

Yesterday due to most ppl were a little derbyout after the weekend (BSTRDS played in Barcelona and Team Sweden had practice) we only had 15 people able and willing to scrimmage. And it was fun, everyone got to jam, and play with each other. Having to go in two jams in a row, or even three and then sit one just ot be able to jam, it does wonders for your endurance, my way of reducing having to run, run, run....

But what is cool too, is that about just two years ago, 15 people at practice would have been considered a well attended practice...

I had tons of fun, even if I was feeling a little stressed in the beginning of the scrimmage, running out of work straight to practice while chewing down food does that too you. There something about practice, I don't know if it's because rollerderby is hella fun or because of all the endorphines, but in 99% of the cases I leave practice feeling 100% better than when I came there.

I got a pretty bad "Charlie horse" already on Sunday, but it did only get worse after another bony/muscular ass to it... damn derbygirls I urge you all to eat some more fat so your hits become fluffier and less painful on me! Seriously, I can barley walk today, and tonight is fighting fit! I am taking tomorrow off, and that is probably a real good thing. Sometimes you need to take a deep breath and just take it easy.. .this might not really be what I do, but I am saying... sometimes it is for the best.

After practice I stuffed my car full of ladies... well I stuffed five girls into my volvo, to go and skate back and forth on a bridge for some musicvideo that Amy is in. It was odd but both fun and funny. And then I went home, made a HUGE sallad and watched Penelope. darn, it's the cutest little freaking romantic comedy I've seen in a long time!
HIGHLY recommend it, partly because I think that Christina Ricci is adorable, but the story is for sure really cute (predictble, but cute, and what RomCom is NOT predictble).

Long but productive Team Sweden weekend

This weekend was superduper intense, I totally nejoyed it, but I was also so exhausted yesterday that I fell asleep 21.30 and slept like a baby until 06.30, still wearing my clothes. Yepp, that is how life is, in all sorts of ways.

On Satuday we met in the morning and did drills until lunch, and after lunch Glory and Fenix ran a bunch of drills with us. It all turned out to be a really great overall practice. I'm starting to feel like I know the other skaters better and better and our strides start to gel. We start to recognise each others voices.

We went over a bunch of termology, so we all understand what we are talking about when we are on the track, since we all come from different leauges and have different names for walls and offense.

After practice we all went to Vinterviken (the infamous derbycommun) and had food and watched the Philly vs. Texas game from Big O, and of course soem of the SKOD tournament that was going on during the weekend. Texas really are GREAT at playing offense without sacreficing too much of their defense, really a joy to watch them play!

On Sunday we started off with some off-skate before suiting up for some more wallwork ran by Glory and then lunch. After lunch we had the fortune to have reffs to come and join us, and we were able to scrimmage. Scrimmage went quite well, and we really got to put some of the things we had worked on during practice to use. It's frustrating that we are so good ;-)

I know I say this a lot, but it truly is amazing to think how far Swedish Roller Derby has come the past years! It makes me really happy, and more and more willing to push myself and coach others, because it DOES show results.

I enjoy women going for it... Photo by Steve Newton

Are you looking for EXCELLENT coaching?

I feel tall and blonde.. this outfit also made me wanna jam-skate.. Kozmic tried to teach me

Look NO furher, Track Advantage has collected a bunch of amazing coaches in one hot pot, pick and choose among oss (I know you mostly want me) and e-mail them and like a genie we will appear on your doorstep and teach you all those little tricks we have up our sleeves.

And yes, I also think we all look a little creepy in this picture, but I guess there is a reason we are not models, and we coach instead! I also told Master Blaster we should be wearing orange outfits, it would make us stand out more, but apperently not yet.. not yet... I am waiting!

Please book us, we are amazing coaches and WILL make your leauge better! That's why we coach!

Weekend of Team Sweden practice coming up

Yesterday I went to Fighting Fit after a long bikeride, it was great weather for bikeriding, sunny but not superhot. On Wednesday we had on-skate practice with our Advanced skaters,  I focused on endurance and walls. It was fun!

I am back in the swing of working out, but I can't deny that I feel a little lost in the way that i have a hard time motivating myself. There is nothing to work towards, nothingness and that feels hard. I am a little slow on my goalsetting right now, probably because I feel liek there are so many things that are up in hte air right now.

BUT ONE THING I KNOW WILL HAPPEN is that Team Sweden is playing Team USA in Stuttgart in the end of June, so I will really focus on that. It's going to be REALLY exciting and fun, fun, fun!

So this weekend we have on-skate practice with Team Sweden, and I am looking forward to it, feels like it will contain a little of everything. A mixed bag of goods, the way I like it, hopefully lot's of focus on skating together and staying together. A more cohesive offence with better communication from the jammers.

Since I've felt a little stuck in my development lately, maybe because I coach to much, I'm considering going back to some jamming. Not to become a main jammer or somethign crazy like that, but to jam because I can get better at it... I do like jamming, but that means I have to start working out a little different, and a change might be good for me! Getting outside of my "safespace"...

LOOK, I jammed back in 2008...  (and yes, I am wearing dipers and R3's)

Team Sweden in London

Photo by John Hesse

Damn, I was menatally not ready for this. Sometimes life get's a little overwhelming, and the past weeks have been like this. The utter dissapointment in that Stockholm will not make it to Division Two Playoffs (where we clearly belong) in combination with some other things have really left me feeling at an all-time low. It's hard sometimes when you work really hard during a looong time to achive something.

Digging yourself out of such a place is not the easiest, but having friends that support you makes it easier!

Right when I got back from my US trip, I went on a work trip to Tallinn and when I came home from that I litterally got SUPERSICK nad could not get out of bed, and ontop of that I had really severe jet-lag and really couldn't sleep. Lack of sleep is really a tool to make life feel a little more dramatic than it acctually is!

 Not the best place to be just a few days before playing Team England...  well, well...

The bouts ended up being stellar, first we played Team England and lost and then we played Brawl Saints and won. I did much better in the second game. The first game i was fighting all those feelings above and I was penalty heavy in the first half, the second half went better and I got used to the floor. I already miss the sportscourt of USA...

No WFTDA Con this year

I have had lots of travel on my docket, and after a very emotional Beach Brawl and an even more emotional Portland trip I'm quite traveled out.
I am REALLY upset that Stockholm is not going to make Div 2 play-offs, because we showed the world at Beach Brawl that it is where we belong, and that we could have made an impact. And on top of that leaving someone you really care about sooo far behind and knowing you will not see them for two months is just not easy. To be honest, it really freaking SUCKS!

So I feel quite haggard coming back to Sweden having to pick myself up and try to decide what things are important in life. I think I have a real good hunch about it right now... Things are about to change... hopefully

SO... because of all those different things, I will not be able to go to WFTDA Con this year, even if I REALLY want too... INstead I get to go to London and play rollerderby, and considering I LOVE to play rollerderby, that's not a bad thing... I do have a little FOMO about not being at the Con.. .I guess RollerCon will have to be the thing this year... DAMN IT, I just cannot have it all!
 

Short stop in NYC

That's the winelist.... 

Went back to Sweden via NYC, catching dinner and great company with Trish and brunch and more great company with OMG and Bonnie. My mothers planted some seeds in my head!

THEY GAVE ME UNICORN SOCKS!!

What happened after Florida? I went to PORTLAND!

This girl is something... something...

Since I already was in USA it only made sense to go and visit my lady in Portland (it's only a 7 hour flight from Florida).  It's really nice to hang out with someone that is so different yet like myself, she's such a genuine person and makes my heart skip a beat. Most of all I have HELLA fun with her, and she does make me push myself... freaking speedskating was EPIC! Trying to shoot with her bow during camping (sorry for destroying an arrow) and also just talking about everythign and nothing. I am for sure more obsessed about coffee...

 I was able to attend a few Rose City practices and also got to see Eagle play a bout with her home team Guns and Rollers. It's really awesome to just go to practice and not have to think much of it, on Sunday it was endurance practice, it was AMAZING, - I had a blast just skating laps and sprinting. I WANNA GO AGAIN! All I did was jus thinking "just one more lap" until my legs want to give in.
On Monday I got to attend A Guns and Rollers practice, it was great, maybe a little to slow for my Monday hyper self. 

I also got to attend two scrimmages and got to scrimmage with AoA agains WOJ, and it was SUPERFUN, you know hitting on a nice taqll jammer... gotta love it.. . I also picked up on some bad habits I've developed and I need to work on. Back to getting a lower centre of gravity in my plows when someone is pushing me from behind. "MUST GET BETTER"  it's that darn chatter that Eagle looooves to talk about... I tink it comes naturally for hockey plaers (THERE, I said it)

It was also really fun to see Sorelsen and Rivas arriving from Denver, just starting fresh meat in Rose. Rivas has always been one of my favorite skaters, she's good. I've had the pleasure to skate with her on VR before, and I've always called her quiet girl. Favorite nickname!

I also sort of feelt accomplished since I actually went for a 45 min run on the Thursday practice when Eags had WOJ practice. I know it doesn't sound like THAT great of an achievement, but when you haven't been able to run for such a long time (one year due to the hamstring rupture), that really is something I feel utterly excited about. 

We also went on a fantastic bike ride along the rive before the Sunday BEFORE the endurance skate.. .and we did go camping for a day, and that was EPIC, probably one of the best campingtrips I have ever done. 

 I guess active vacations are my style over just sitting around doing nothing, even if I can appreciate doing nothing too... well at least staying in bed... 

Playing Team USA

Me and AJ "warming up"

So at Beach Brawl an International Allstars vs Team USA was put together. Me, CrackHer and Loony got to represent Sweden. It was superfun even if i think most of us were exhausted after already playing three games that weekend. It was superfun and I think I was just smiling and laughing the entire bout...

I decided that jamming was gonna be the way to go at some point
, and it was acctually real fun! So now I can say I have jammed against Team USA... ha ha ha

Kicking Ass and taking names in Florida

Dear Stockholm Allstars

We rocked this weekend at the Beach Brawl... we played THREE Division ONE teams and almost beat one of them! So much fun playing!!

I couldn't be anymore proud to be a part of a team that has worked so hard!

MY GIRLS!

Fiiine ladies of Stockholm Allstars

Rocky Mountain Rocks

About a year ago I sat at WFTDACon and chatted with Pepa from Rocky Mountain. So she brought up that they were considering to play London and said "wouldn't it just be real cool if you could help us find a place to hold a bootcamp and we could play you guys"
And I was sort of "Why not, that sounds real cool"

A year later it all happened, and it was really an experiance.- I have played Rocky Mountain before, but that was a looong time ago and with a completly different team (back then I was with Gotham) at WFTDA Champs.

 I was superduper nervous and I woke up on Saturday morning with a VERY stuffed nose and a fever. NOT a great day to start the day! But after stuffing myself with all the remedies I could think of I started to feel better, and it acctually ended up being a SUPERDUPER awesome and great bout. Rocky was for sure the better team, they foremed better walls than us and their jammers were harder to hold. I still don't feel defeted, and I don't think that anyone in my team does. I thin kwe feel like we had nothing to loose and everything to gain, and we did gain lots and lots of experiance...

I don't think you will ever play competative long enought not to be nervous. I will always continue to push myself and my teamates to become better. We can always improve!

I am SO freaking proud of all of us for stepping up, smiling and performing to our best. It's something special about Stockholm Rollerderby, we have been on a long long adventure together, and three years ago when I moved back to Stockholm we talked about a USA trip... dreams... dreams and dreams... and now dreams are coming true... not only have we played a top ten Division ONE team on our hometurf BUT we are also on our way to Florida to play against THREE Division ONE teams... oh HELL yes, I am chewin my nails off...

So a HUGE thanks for Rocky to stopping by our neck of the woods and giving us a good whipping...

TBT this is what I looked like last tiem I played Rocky.... 

Bout against Crime City 2014

Crime City is our biggest competion in Sweden, last year we played each other 3 times, and we beat them twice and them us once. So this weekend we went down to play them again, it was sort of a big deal since two of our main blockers left Stockholm. Emma Ryssfemma is doing the babything and Kix acctually moved to Malmö, and was going to play against us. I would lie if I said I wasn't nervous.

Playing CCR is always really emotional, partly because that they are my old team and also because so many of the girls on the team are my good friends and teammates on Team Sweden.I want them to do good! This being the first time for us to bout without Kix, and having her play against us, was of course also a factor that made the game a little extra emotional.

At the same time I was SUPEREXCITED to have two new girls on our Allstars playing their first bout with us, and both Panica and Mounty did amazing. The entire team did freaking amazing, I am really proud to be a part of this team, to captain and coach. Everyone has such a great attitude and their heads on their shoulders, we skate well together and push each other! I like that!

The bout was close, Stockholm took the lead from the beginning, but it wasn't like it felt like we were winning at any point, Crime City really gave us a run for our points. And once again this gives me so much hope and happiness for the future of Swedish rollerderby.

I got awarded MVP, and that always feels really good, but without my team being so awesome I would not be able to play as well as I did.

In three weeks we will be playing against Rocky Mountain, and that will really be something... the last bout we play in Sweden before we head over to Beach Brawl and play Houston, Steele City and Tampa... yikes! It's EXCITING and sooo amazingly crazy. I rememember two years ago, when talking about bringing Stockholm Roller Derby to USA, just was a dream, something we barley thought ever would happen... and NOW, it's what's happeing! 

EXHAUSTING scrimmage, but fun!

Lately we have had so many people at scrimmage that we almost have felt like people don't get enough playtime. Yesterday my dear friends was NOT one of those days!

BSTRDS (our B-team) had a bout in Hamburg on the Saturday, and since our Allstar team has a few cross-overs we were running low, and half of the leauge seem to lay in their beds suffering from a really bad case of the seasonal flu.

So we only had 17 people showing up at practice, 5 of them coming straight from Hamburg! So the 7 allstars taht showed up ended up playing the rest of the leauge (the remaining 10 people). It was fun, even if I wish that htere would have been more people, but noone can complain that they did not get tracktime...

Well, I mean - skating every jam for two hours does leave little room for complaining...

I had a great time, even if we cut the scrimmage short about 30 min, because people were just getting exhausted and we could feel the injuries hovering. Instead we did a drill, and used the remaining time for some freeskating and fun. The whole practice/scrimmage was really amazing, and it made me think how far our rookies have come, they really can hold their own! 

My legs really are feeling EXHAUSTED today, I am worried that it might be the flu moving in on me, my joints and my body is hurting and I'm feeling really tired. BUT we have practice tonight, so I have to shake that feeling and put my head down and get better... Beach Brawl is just about two months away... and before that we will be playing both Crime City and Rocky Mountain!

Last night I spent at my mohters with one of my best friends visiting from Paris. Went to bed quite early borrowing my moms iPad and watching LRG vs. Atlanta.

This picture is completly inrelated to teh text (it's VR Nordic)