Nov 17, 2015

Just a rant about food...

Life is an adventure, and some of us plan our adventure and some of just live it. 

I like to think I am somewhere in between. There are a few things I have always wanted, some of them I have gotten, some of them I haven't.

So a few weeks ago I wrote that I was going vegetarian, because I believe in more sustainable living, with the side effect of healthier eating. It is going really good, I've had meat a few times, but it has only been moose that my stepdad shot or lamb from my moms own. For me that's accceptble, and it will stay that way.

I will admit that I did watch Cowspiracy, and it did inspire me a little extra to eat as vegan as possible. My largest obstcle was that I LOVE milk in my coffee, and to be totally honest... there is nothing like cowmilk in your coffee... until I meat Oatleys iKaffe... I bow to it... I can drink that and ENJOY it. Becasue food is to enjoy, and not just to quickly shove in your mouth just to open it up for another bit.

Food should for sure taste good, and I try to cook good food. It makes me happy when people compliment me on my food or/and eat a healthy amount of it. The past week I've baked three times, twicce this amazing bananabread and once swedish style cinnamon and cardemon buns.... SO good!

I do start every morning with throwing an apple, half a carrot, weathgrass powder, spirtutlina powder, some celery, a bunch of spinnache and some water and mix it til its about smooth... 
VOILA, best breakfast ever! 

Nov 5, 2015

How we live our lives...

I love the north, I grew up on top of the world, I grew up in dark and snowy winters and short but light summers. I grew playing freely in the woods of Dalarna and the Stockholm archipelago, learning to swim in freezing water. I learned crosscontry skiing on my grandmothers lawn in Sågmyra and downhill at a small hill in Bjursås, I did hit a fence, they forgot to teach me how to stop. Otherwise there were not many fences in my childhood, you just walked right out into the woods and climbed trees and cliffs. It went dark and you came inside.  My daycare in the Stockholm suburb was across the street from my parents house and we had a huge playground that was forrest and very little concrete. I remember when the local stable moved, and donated a bunch of saddles to the daycare. We put them up on the railing of the house and played horse. We all wanted our own horse, but no one could afford it or had parents that would allow it. My parents worked fulltime, like all my friends parents did, I always came early to the dayscare, Mom dropping me off before work, picking me up late when it was dark outside and I was the last one left. The kids that were there until late always got a snack, I remember carrots. Chopped and peeled carrots, floating around in water, not to turn brown, watery carrots, thats the taste of parents working late.

In the summer we would sail, go from island to island and sleep in the boat, me, my mom, my brother and my father. For two weeks the sailboat was our home, me in the back, my brother in the front and my parents in the middle separated bythe table we had dinner at. I learned how to set sail and navigate and how not to fall off the boat. In the evenings my dad would let me lay my head in his knee and he wold read books for me or just make up tales about trolls and other magical creatures living in the woods. We would meet many other familys sailing, and sometimes I would play with other kids on other boats.

There is a magic in the nature and the city kills me slowly... The bars, the smiles, the stress, the makeup, the constant want for more, it eats us alive and we start to think it is the only way we can live. That by being recognized by others, validates us, makes us real, we polish ourselves and hide the imperfections...
Everyone striving for a minute or two in the spotlight, and for what?

I would never say that we should not strive for what we want, but for me, I want to hike a mountain, I want snow, I want the smell of winter or pine trees warmed by the sun in the summer. I want to sail with the wind coming across, with the boat leaning a tad. I want an life with adventures, not in the bars comparing how many shots I can drink, I know I can do this, I know I can win. I know I am pretty with makeup. I know I can talk about nothing with people that dont care about me, and that I probably dont care about.

Life is not about looks, diets, plastic surgery and having the most likes on Instagram. It is about waking up, filling your lungs with fresh air, going down to a lake to take a swim. It is about watching your partner read a book while you plan your next adventure. It is about grabbing your skis and heading into the woods, it is about sitting and looking at the garden you grew and thinking what you are making for supper. I want to be kind to others and get the same back, I want to teach and be taught. Do something for myself, but also for others.

 This is the life I want for myself... oh  and of course I wanna rollerskate too

Drinking water straight from the ground, eskers are natural filters for water. 

Nov 1, 2015

Today I played rollerderby again... and it was fun

I was expecting to finish this season with Gotham, it was what I trained really hard for the entire season. Becoming better, stronger, faster and smarter, playing together with a team where each and every skater were just working so hard to do the same. I am not going to lie, being a Gotham Allstar is hard, both on your body and mentally but rewarding.
I miss my team very much, and when I got my visa denial I got upset, very upset. I am not going to lie, it was not only because of the derby, it was also a matter of the heart and that I had looked forward so much to begin a masters in something that I really really felt right about.
It has been a two really tough months, watching things fall apart around me, missing friends, being a little lost, missing my team, missing that one friend I spent so much time with, loosing myself a little
They do say that when one door closes another opens, so I enrolled in school here, taking classes towards what I want to do. Went to Paris and saw one of my best friends, spent time with my family, picked lingonberries in the woods up north, picked mushrooms in the woods outside Stockholm. Worked out with friends at Good To Go, ran in the woods, hung out in the Sauna, went to Helsinki and saw friends. I recovered my body and thought a lot on things that I really want to do. Places that I want to go, things I want to learn that aren't rollerderby. I realized that there are also other things in life that are great and exciting and everythign does not have to revolve around rollerderby...

I have been stressed out and I've lost almost five kilos, emotional stress, so many feelings... I have cried, I guess it is OK to cry. I have been pissed off and I have made jokes about everything, to ease the stress. I've written letters and put thoughts and feelings into print, some I sent, others I didn't.

Well, so with that said, all this made me not really feel like playing rollerderby. I love rollerderby, but I just didn't feel like it. I wanted, but I didn't want to. It has been nice being able to just go for dinner with friends instead of going to practice. I've watched so much Netflix and been drawing like crazy. I have written poems and short little stories.

But today I decided to go to Stockholms practice, they had a guest coach from Australia. So I spent the day at my moms place making labels for the lamb meat (slaughter was yesterday) she was vacuum packaging while my brothers and stepdad were chopping the lambs up. We had a big family lunch and then I got a ride back into town. I cam home and I sort of didn't want to go, but I did. I did miss skating... I FaceTimed a little with Nut, and I decided... YES I AM GONNA GO TO PRACTICE!

And it was superfun! I am really happy I went! I missed it, there are things I have not missed about derby, but I for sure missed playing and practicing. It was two hours of FUN! Yeah! I probably will go to more Stockholm practices now, and I am going to watch Gotham kick ass this weekend. And I will be proud of my team and I will see all the things we worked on all season be implemented in perfection, because I know how hard they have worked for this! And I will enjoy it, I will be supersad that I cant be there to play or even to support. But I will be watching with friends here and I will make the best out of what I have here and now. Because we do what we can with what we have!

Oct 30, 2015

RollerCon 2015 - short late recap

Team Fasholes vs. Team Tomboys by Tristan King

I had an AMAZING time at RollerCon, it was my SEVENTH RollerCon and it was just as magic as any other year. I played some truly fun bouts with talented and kickass people, and most of all... i got to dress up while playing rollerderby... meeting old and new friends!
I was honored to be voted in for the East Coast Team this year, it is truly humbling and amazing to get to skate with this team. And AGAINST Team West that really had some of the finest skaters on it. Oh, and we won... but it was an amazing and hardfought bout...

Team Cruz always leaves me feeling like a BEZErKING VIKING, I am not complaining... I couldn't stop grunting for a really long time after...   Team Fashole just get better and better each year... both outfitwise and skating, this year we event made points...  we alsmost gave those tomboys a run for their money... with our tits out... yeah we did!!
Team Vagine is the highlight of the weekend, being able to be a part of a team with such talented and queer skaters makes me super happy. Skating for a cause, because we are who we are, and we are not afraid to be who we are. Oh, yeah, we also won this year again...

And as always, skating with Cheezeballs Precision Skate Bearings is always a great time and so are the bearings spinning in my wheels... even if we didn't win, we still kicked some ass and had a GOOD time both against Bont and S1!!
I also had a good time seeing that Roll Line Roller Derby had a booth there this year, and my Gladiator wheels totally tore up the floor..

Oct 28, 2015

Don't call me hipster! I am a gardener... or something...

The morning I left for Alaska I said good bye to the sunflowers

So for you who follow me on Instagram, you know that I took over Fisti Cuffs and Frozen Chosens garden this summer. I literally took over... I cleaned out a hella lot of debris and dead morning glory (with help from Frozen) and then I dug up all the soil and added a bunch of pots. Bought lots of soil and started planting... well, I got Frozen to drive me to Home Depot to get a bunch of plants 06.30 in the morning (he was the one who wanted to go that early, and he actually slept in the car while I went crazy on little baby plants in the nursery). I planted tomatoes, cucumbers, strawberries, lots of different herbs, jalapenos, peppers, zucchini, winter squash and watermelons...
And SUNFLOWERS! I love sunflowers... the only other flower I might almost love as much is a weed, and it's the dandelion. Dandelions are super useful, you can use the leaves for salad and make wine of the flowers. I know there are also some remedies you can make out of them. Have not gotten that far yet...
I spent lots of the summer on killing morning glory and some other weeds, on hunting down squash worms and trying to figure out why I had black spots on some tomatoes and how to get rid of mildew on cucumber leaves... I learned SO much, and I loved it! Well to be fair, I also had Brazilian Nut take me to Home Depot to get more plants and I ordered soil and strawberries from Amazon... yeah... there is nothing you can't get from Amazon...
I think I was mostly excited about being able to go out in the garden and eat a cucumber for breakfast whenever I wanted to.
I had to leave NYC before the growing season was over, so I never saw the end of it, but apperently the watermelons never came out, but it produced lots of tomatoes... and still is.
Growing things in NYC is not hard, well it is polluted, but as long as you have water, it will grow because of the heat and the sun. Sure there are all the pests, but it grows fast, and if something dies, something new will soon pop up...
Stockholm is not the same... we have a subarctic climate here, so it's going to be interesting to see how my balcony will fare next summer. I am also going to do some planing at my moms outside the city, because I want to do some real gardening, and not just the urban balcony pot gardening.

I truly enjoy gardening, it is just fun to get better at something, and also the joy of being able to give something to others. There is something really satisfying about being able to produce your own food.

I am also learning a new composting method called Bokashi, I made my own bin... well... more about that in my next blogg... Well, acctually next blogg will be a late post about RollerCon!

So this is what it looked like after a few hours of cleaning

And I got the plants

And more plants.... 

Oct 27, 2015

Another hard slap to the face...

Out and about
So I was hoping at least that I could travel to the WFTDA Champs to root Gotham on, to see all those people I love in derby. But also to watch the best rollerderby, the sport I love, and the athlethes that impress me each game! If I can't play myself, at least I could get the second best... but no, US decided  that I should not travel. It really sucks and it makes me really sad!

REALLY REALLY SAD and UPSET! It leaves me feeling powerless, I can't really decide on my own destiny of life. I can't grab life by it's boobs and go where I please. FRUSTRATING!

I love Stockholm, I have spent much time outdoors, and I love it. The fresh air, the smell of the fall and how winter is slowly creeping up on us. Walking and running the woods, looking for mushrooms and drinking water straight from a spring, sitting in the sauna, going outside into the cold water and air.
It is almost everything I could dream of.

 I know I will hate November, it's that rainy, dark and cold month... the time of the year we all suffer... waiting for snow... I've started to compost, I'm planning to rebuild my kitchen, I've painted all the furniture, I want to learn how to build furniture, I am taking classes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy... Things are looking up...

Oct 21, 2015

Running around with vegbles

6.30 am... I swear... doing this for a minute x 5, wakes you up
Everyone that knows me, knows that I really hate running, jogging, moving my body in any direction that doesn't include skating... ok, FINE, I do really like walking... BUT I have always been baffled by all those crazypants that tell me how WONDERFUL running is. Like really! I have always looked at them and thought to myself "you poor human beeing, who had lobotomized you". Well, maybe not that harsh,,, but surley something like that...

And now I have to confess... I have been running... and I sort of like it... I don't know why this is, maybe because it is out in the woods on really fun forest trails and I get to go to the sauna afterwards? Maybe b3ecause it is fall, and the temperature is just right. But yeah, I like running, and I like the sauna afterwards, and the naked skin in the fall air when we go outside to jump in the lake that slowly is going towards winter.

I love those aspects of Stockholm, that I can be in the middle of the nature just using my buspass. I love watching the season change and I can't wait for winter to be here... and as always, I keep on working out at Good To Go. It really is great, I've really gained a lot of core and upperbody strength. This morning I went to the 06.30 am session... I am seriously a zoombie whrn I get there... and then I leave as an almost functional person. It's very nice. For me, Functional Fitness works really well, I probably should spend an additional day at the gym... but I guess I have to lay down boundaries.

Oh, and then there was that little thing about being a vegetarian... It has been over a week, and I am not really missing eating meat, but I got myself some protein powder to consume after training sessions, I suspect that I will need that, I had vegan sushi the other day, and I must say I really did miss the real deal...