Mar 3, 2012

Me and snowboarding are finally friends again...

It was AMAZING to snowboard again - i miss it - and i finally feel like I have à healthy relationship to snowbaording. We can have fun together - and I wanna go again, and again... and again... who wanna come with?

When I quit snowboarding it was like breaking up from a long relationship - and even today I have a hard time to talk about part of the life I lived back then. To be honest, I was a very unsecure 20-something, I wanted so much, I felt so much and most of all I never felt like I fitted in.
I truly loved snowboarding, and I was good, really good, but I never became as good as I wanted to, and I was good, and that took it's toll on my selfesteem, and so did the constant struggle to proof myself as a girl in a very male-dominated world. I never felt pretty enought, I always felt like a gigant and still I LOVED to snowboard, the way the early crisp wintermorings made me feel.
There was somethign about the peacefulness of snowboarding, the physical demanding part, the limits that I had to push and always standing strong. I never cried, I was a little manic, I was so many things and at the same time I never felt comfortble in my own skin. It was a time of searching and longing to belong.

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