Nov 5, 2015

How we live our lives...

I love the north, I grew up on top of the world, I grew up in dark and snowy winters and short but light summers. I grew playing freely in the woods of Dalarna and the Stockholm archipelago, learning to swim in freezing water. I learned crosscontry skiing on my grandmothers lawn in Sågmyra and downhill at a small hill in Bjursås, I did hit a fence, they forgot to teach me how to stop. Otherwise there were not many fences in my childhood, you just walked right out into the woods and climbed trees and cliffs. It went dark and you came inside.  My daycare in the Stockholm suburb was across the street from my parents house and we had a huge playground that was forrest and very little concrete. I remember when the local stable moved, and donated a bunch of saddles to the daycare. We put them up on the railing of the house and played horse. We all wanted our own horse, but no one could afford it or had parents that would allow it. My parents worked fulltime, like all my friends parents did, I always came early to the dayscare, Mom dropping me off before work, picking me up late when it was dark outside and I was the last one left. The kids that were there until late always got a snack, I remember carrots. Chopped and peeled carrots, floating around in water, not to turn brown, watery carrots, thats the taste of parents working late.

In the summer we would sail, go from island to island and sleep in the boat, me, my mom, my brother and my father. For two weeks the sailboat was our home, me in the back, my brother in the front and my parents in the middle separated bythe table we had dinner at. I learned how to set sail and navigate and how not to fall off the boat. In the evenings my dad would let me lay my head in his knee and he wold read books for me or just make up tales about trolls and other magical creatures living in the woods. We would meet many other familys sailing, and sometimes I would play with other kids on other boats.

There is a magic in the nature and the city kills me slowly... The bars, the smiles, the stress, the makeup, the constant want for more, it eats us alive and we start to think it is the only way we can live. That by being recognized by others, validates us, makes us real, we polish ourselves and hide the imperfections...
Everyone striving for a minute or two in the spotlight, and for what?

I would never say that we should not strive for what we want, but for me, I want to hike a mountain, I want snow, I want the smell of winter or pine trees warmed by the sun in the summer. I want to sail with the wind coming across, with the boat leaning a tad. I want an life with adventures, not in the bars comparing how many shots I can drink, I know I can do this, I know I can win. I know I am pretty with makeup. I know I can talk about nothing with people that dont care about me, and that I probably dont care about.

Life is not about looks, diets, plastic surgery and having the most likes on Instagram. It is about waking up, filling your lungs with fresh air, going down to a lake to take a swim. It is about watching your partner read a book while you plan your next adventure. It is about grabbing your skis and heading into the woods, it is about sitting and looking at the garden you grew and thinking what you are making for supper. I want to be kind to others and get the same back, I want to teach and be taught. Do something for myself, but also for others.

 This is the life I want for myself... oh  and of course I wanna rollerskate too

Drinking water straight from the ground, eskers are natural filters for water. 

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