How I once believed I had to be different

I am great just the way I am, how I look and how I panic because I don't believe in myself. I worked hard to be who I am today - but I've also decided that I will never be happier trying to be anyone but me. I am cranky when I don't eat, so I eat, I look buffer when I don't drink, so I don't drink so often. I spent my early twenties being scared, scared of being myself and not like everyone else, not to fit in! I was scared that my thighs were to big, my ass to wide, my boobs too small... And yet they functioned so well... 

I will never deny myself a certain piece of food ever again because it will make me look better, because it's not how it works. Everything in moderation is the true way to go... I eat balanced, not too much and not to little - I treat myself when I crave something and then I crave it no longer. 

Restricting myself have never worked... But damn did my abs pop last summer when I had post-breakup anxiety attacks and lived off apples... But not really worth it... 

Me and Isabella at an unown island outside stockholm... we kayaked to get here...  AND we did not drown! 

Keeping active is the key, and being injured, it's been hard! Skating been a great way of staying fit - in an easy way... but my bike has really been my saviour... I try to bike everyday... from and too work.. all-over the place!

But when it comes down to everythign, it's not about how you look - it's about how you feel! I really don't care about dropping X amount of weight - because it's just numbers, it says NOTHING about hte way you look.. .adn spendign your life chasing numbers... will give you NO satisfaction! 

RollerCon 2013

Life as we all know ist - I am going to RollerCon 2013 - I get to play with VR and with amazing and lovley Amazons again... I think this might be the spark to my eye.. .and well - I am also working hardcore on a tan, tan, tan... I have a love and hate relationship with Vegas and RollerCon - but I keep on comming back.. .So what can I say!? Isn't that answer enought?

 and then I'm hitting up a wedding in Berlin... How about that? 

The problem with the Neverending Season

We dont have a season - not in the way other sports have seasons, most leagues have a few weeks here and there - but a few months off - is unheard off.

But something that is heard off is skater burn-out... I am very sure this have some sort of connection. The feeling of guilt by choosing something over derby and the constant workload combined with practice. Don't get me wrong - I love derby - but I think this is a reason so many of us burnout. Give yourself a break when needed, or you will wake up one day and realise that you just don't love derby anymore... It's OK to miss a bout or two - if that means you will come back with new energy and feel like pushing your and your teams goals forward! 

If you can't skate you can ALWAYS be there for your team in so many ways!  

Being injured has really given me the feeling that I wanna skate again, that I love rollerderby, that I love coaching - that no matter what - I wanna be involved!

I know it sounds crazy to people that just started wit hderby that there are people that need and want a break from derby, but I don't love derby any less for needing a break, I just need it to keep on loving and being able to give my all. I love skating, I love coaching and I love everything that's around derby, but it's hard to always be in prime condition, rollerderby is a mental game, I barley eat during tournaments and bouting weekends, coaching or playing... So I need my off-season to eat well, go to the gym and not feel like I HAVE to be at rollerderby practice or I'll make my team disapointed. I wanna be the best I can be the time I am around my team. 

Swedish Champions - Stockholm Rollerderby

Mary, Amy, me, Becky and Kim holding onto the Cup!

GOLD GOLD GOLD!

Stockholm Rollerderby - you are my love... Swedish Rollerderby - we are amazing! All teams showed up and played well! There still is quite a difference in the skill-level of the teams, but not even close to what it was like only two years ago.

Stockholm Rollerderby took home the win in the finals, and I am very proud of the focus and spirit my team played with, it was a pleasure to bench-coach. It made it worth all those days I've taken my broken ass to practice to run practice!

Smiles and derby - it's fun! Kix got best blocker of the tournament and Loony got best jammer, both very well deserved! Oh, and Foxen from Västerås got tournamnet MVP.


AND WE GOT A BIG TROPHE CUP!

OH, OH... and the finals were streamed on Swedish Television!! YAY for rollerderby being recognized! 

SM in Rollerderby

Rollerderby - we are deeply in love, you are my longest relationship (ok, snowboarding lasted longer) but I have given you everything, and I am pleased. We are in this together, and sometimes you make me cry of frustration...

I remember when I returned to Europe 2,5 years ago - Sweden had five derby leauges, none of them had ever bouted with a full roster. So it's quite amazing that this weekend Sweden will have their first National Championships with eight teams! Sweden now has about 20 leauges and still growing, we are a recognized sport and in all of Europe rollerderby is growing.

I love you rollerderby! On or off saktes, you are always a joy... and a freaking PAIN!